The 3 Towns Coffee centre

[Ian]

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words...and the winners are:

 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

 8. Gargoyle (n.), gross olive-flavoured mouthwash.

 9. Flatulance (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

12. Pokemon (n.), a Rastafarian proctologist.

13. Circumvent (n.), an opening in front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

14. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

[SteveH]

 

[Nemesis]

 L0L L0L L0L

[PhilMick]

 L0L L0L L0L L0L

[snowcap]

Happy new year to one and all

[Michael]

Hello,, coffee centre appears to have died. So here goes. I am back in Goa after two weeks in Bangkok and kanchanaburu. Worn out. Slept nonstop for 15 hours last night.apart from two visits to toilet.
  I come back into the middle of political elections. What a shock. I live at the end of a small lane which ends with a jetty used by fishermen. Total inhabitants around maybe 200. Half of them under voting age. For last two and half hours a load speaker van, column on maximum with music, singing and political rabble rousing, mostly in Hindu. Non stop.
  I am lucky. On my mantelpiece are two hearing aides. Switched off.
  It gets worse. Next week all establishments selling of alcohol must shut at 9 p.m. Supermarkets must cover up alcohol. Police visits to enforce constantly.
After four nights even worse. All sales of alcohol in any form prohibited all day and night.
  You may wonder why. At the end it's Election Day in the worlds largest democracy.  From past experiences it was normal for candidates to descend on villages such as this and distribute whisky to all comers. Or rather all comers who had a vote. Then take them off to polling stations, push them inside whilst waving whisky bottles outside as a reward.
  In the meantime I must make a note in my diary. Stock up with booze to my room before all this starts.

[Ian]

Good to hear from you, Mike. Can we expect more entertaining communiques from our subcontinent reporter?

[hollins]

Hope so!

[Bosun]

The last time that I was in Goa for an election, the bar would serve drink - in a teacup! And the bottle had to be kept out of sight under the table.

Drinking beer out of a teacup somewhat takes away the enjoyment of the moment of a cold beer in a hot climate....... exactly the opposite of the final scene in 'Ice Cold in Alex'.

[hollins]

Happy St David's Day!

[Michael]

  Hello to everyone and, sadly, goodbye. Some of you may remember around 6 months or so ago I was getting continual stupid childish playground style messages from a troll. At that time I said I giving up posting, just read. But I weakened and put a post or two lately.
   But the troll was still lurking. He/she crawled into action again. Quoting bits about my posts. So he/she still reading you.
  Well I just cannot be bothered with this so childish behaviour so this time it definite. No more posts from me.
  Oh and just to inform this stupid person. He says I smell of urine. I don't remember anyone around me having a good sniff unless the troll is a dog.
  But just for your interest mr troll I am in a daily midday temperature of over 100 degrees and I can tell you mister, urine doesent come out of the usual place. It escapes through sweat on your body. You stupid, childish freak. Goodbye

[DaveR]

Sorry to hear that this sad individual is still bothering you, Mike. One can only imagine how sad his own life is, that he feels the need to take pleasure in hassling other people online. Enjoy the sunshine and please post whenever you wish on here. 

[Hugo]

Mike, I'm sorry to hear that you are still getting abuse from this online troll and can respect your decision not to post on here.   I for one have enjoyed reading your posts and also for the kindness and hospitality that you have shown to me when I have been to visit you on your Golf Course.
It's good to see that you are enjoying your holiday over there and making the most out of life and long may it continue.
The troll must be extremely jealous of you being able to do that while HE is unable to do the things that you can still do

[snowcap]

sorry to hear you'r leaving us Mike, there are some right bad minded people out there who get a thrill out of getting a result by getting someone to stop doing something they enjoy doing, It must be hard to treat them with contempt, when a good person like yourself gives in to this sort of scum it only makes them feel that they can bully more people into doing the same.Enjoy your hols, look forward to seeing you soon,

[Michael]

Just to let you know he is still at it but is now messing around in messenger in Facebook and similar. But be warned. He got others in his sights. I'm not going to do his work for him by repeating anything but two forum members in his sights are Hugo and hollins.
  If it's any consolation he thinks hollins is a man